dhampyresa

Earlier, I was listening to the "French women don't get fat" episode of the podcast Maintenance Phase [1], because, as we know, I hate myself [2].

From transcript at first link above:

Michael: just soggy apples with no butter sugar on them. It's just hot apples.

FUCK YOU HOBBES POMMES CUITES ARE DELICIOUS

I was so mad, I made myself one for dessert this evening. And then regretted it when I realised, while taking it out of the microwave, that a hot dessert in a heat wave was not my brightest idea. Still delicious! Just chopped up an apple and put it in the microwave for 7mn, no sugar, no butter(??????), no cinnamon [3] (????????) just OM NOM NOM

Yes, I am, to quote a friend, "emphatically and offensively" French, hahaha.

And I guess that brings us to strike 3 against this podcast (wrong about kidney donations, wrong about thermodynamics, wrong about apples -- and never providing corrections for any of it. also they are extremely and unpleasantly smug and Gordon's laugh is fucking annoying / petty), so I'm dropping it. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES


[1] I have complained before about them Being Wrong On The Internet due to not bothering to look at the Wikipedia page for the first law of thermodynamics.

[2] Sometimes (...often) I will deliberatey seek out content that I know will make me feel bad. Self-harm by internet, if you will.

[3] "Aubrey: Why would you not put just a fucking pinch of cinnamon in that apple tart?" because why would you? Like. You can, I guess, it's just never occurred to me before. And here I thought USAmericans being obessed with putting cinnamon on/in everything was a stereotype.

1. Earlier I was listening to Maintenance Phase's episode "The Body Mass Index" which has, about 1mn35 in, one of the hosts (Michael Hobbes) declaring he refused to be weighed at the doctor's office because "it has nothing to do with health". Which... Look. Ignoring literally everything else, sudden and/or drastic variations in weight on their own are important medical info!
Case in point: about a year ago, I lost 3kg within a month. At no point in this process was I outside the "normal" BMI range and yet that weightloss was still significant! (It turned out to be linked to what landed me in hospital at the end of 2020.)
Am I missing something? Very possible, since I am Le Big Stupid.


2. I've not listened to The Magnus Archives since sometime in March. At first I wasn't in the mood and then I got... intimidated? Or something. And the more time passed, the more daunting the idea of picking it up again became. WTF brain. I like this podcast! I wanna know how it ends! Just let me listen to it щ(ಠ益ಠщ)


3. In The Apocalist Book Club's episode on Tom's A-Cold by John Collier, the author is quoted as saying, later in life:

“I sometimes marvel that a third-rate writer like me has been able to palm himself off as a second-rate writer.”

And that is probably the most inspiring thing I have ever heard. I'll never be good, but I might manage to pass myself off as vaguely decent in art and/or writing.

Have a bunch of my thoughts about The Magnus Archives (TMA) seasons 1 and 2. Fair warning it is a bit...


( Cut to spare you my nonsense )
While listening to episode 42 I was going GOSH JONNY DRAG YOUR BAND HARDER WHY DON'T YOU. Though I later realised it is a compliment in context, actually, hahaha. If you're not getting murdered by music did you ever truly live?

Usually I don't really care about spoilers but in this case I am enjoying coming up with bullshit theoris way too much so please no spoilers.

I have internet! I am also leaving the country for Ireland/Dublin/Worldcon/Dubcon on Saturday, so \o/ (anyone wanna hang out?)

I have also... not done much besides go to work (where I have developed a newfound love for nonfiction podcasts -- made my way through all of Death in the Afternoon (lovely, cannot tell the hosts' voices apart) and Apocalist Bookclub (lovely, can tell hosts voices apart!) -- and sleep. SO MUCH SLEEPING? Last weekend I woke up at 16h ans 19h respectively, why the fuck am I still tired.

I guess I drew so stuff? much success, very awake, wow

Thank you for writing for me! I'm sure whatever you write me will be wonderful.

Feel free to poke around this journal or my Ao3 account (username: sevenofspade ) if you want to. My letters tag is here.

I have seven Do Not Wants: allegory/metaphor of real world politics, incest, rape, child abuse, character death, dysphoria and the Arthurian mythos. When these are canon, please don't focus on them. I would also prefer not to have to deal with people losing things important to them and toxic living arrangements, be that family or roomates. Thank you.

On the other hand, there are a lot of things I do want. Here’s a partial list. (I obviously don’t expect you to stick all of these in one story, that would be impossible.)

( General likes )

Feel free to take prompts in whichever direction you like! And if none of my prompts work for you, then write whatever you want -- I'll be happy with anything.


Ancient History RPF
Hannibal Barca/Scipio Africanus

Prompts: Best generals! Chilling out in the afterlife. Chilling out in Ephesus. Faking their deaths and eloping! AU with no war (somehow). Pun-ic war of puns (I LIKE PUNS).

Critical Role (Web Series)
Raishan/Anna Ripley
(Fandom-specific DNW: Vax'ildan.)

Prompts: Mad scientists! They're just so completely amoral assholes, I love them. An AU in which they get to meet and fuck shit up! Raishan trying to infiltrate Whitestone under the Briarwoods. Ripley's medical knowledge vs Raishan's disease.

Crossover Fandom
Nico Minoru (Runaways TV) & Wanda Maximoff (MCU)

Prompts: Magic-using Goths! They can bond over being witches and/or over being goths. Maybe Wanda teaches Nico about magic – or the other way around.

Rey (Star Wars)/Aaron Burr (Hamilton)

Prompts: Orphans waiting for something! Timetravel, somehow, I guess -- Rey going to Burr's New York or Burr going to Rey's galaxy. Feel free to mimic the musical or not.

Eferum Series - Andrea K. Höst
Kendall Stockton/Sukata Illuma

Prompts: The cutest monster-fighting girlfriends! Future fic in which they are the greatest sorcerers in the land! Figuring out how to free Sukata and her people from Rennyn.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Jyn Erso/Leia Organa (Rogue One)

Prompts: Angry Rebel spies! An AU in which Jyn survives! Or a canon-divergent AU where Jyn joined the Rebels earlier – or later. Force ghosts!

Thank you so much for writing for me!

(Comments welcome.)

Thank you for writing for me! I'm sure whatever you write me will be wonderful.

Feel free to poke around this journal or my Ao3 account (username: sevenofspade ) if you want to. My letters tag is here.

I have six Do Not Wants: allegory/metaphor of real world politics, incest, rape, child abuse, character death and dysphoria. When these are canon, please don't focus on them. I would also prefer not to have to deal with people losing things important to them and toxic living arrangements, be that family or roomates. Thank you.

On the other hand, there are a lot of things I do want. Here’s a partial list. (I obviously don’t expect you to stick all of these in one story, that would be impossible.)

( General likes )

Feel free to take prompts in whichever direction you like! And if none of my prompts work for you, then write whatever you want -- I'll be happy with anything.  (I request fanfiction only because while I really really love art, I don't know how to prompt for it.)


My theme this year is "female mad scientists" (for given values of "mad", "scientist" and "mad scientist"), but please don't feel as though mad science has to be the be-all and end-all of what you make me.


Campaign (Podcast) (Lyntel'luroon (Star Wars: Campaign Podcast))

I am up to date on the show and will remain so. Feel free to set things at any time in canon or pre-canon or post-canon (or in a canon-divergent AU).

I ship Lyn with just about everyone female in the galaxy far far away (Lyn/Avaa! Lyn/Fentara! Lyn/Vous-vous!), but I think my favourite relationship is her mentoring Tamlin.

Lyn going on more archeology adventures. Lyn backstory (with the band or not). Lyn future-fic (with her future-wife?) -- what will Lyn do once she's collected the entire Journal of the Whills?


Critical Role (Web Series) (Anna Ripley, Raishan (Critical Role) )

I'm not (yet) up to date on the show, but I am caught up on everything involving both Ripley and Raishan and don't mind spoilers. Feel free to set things at any time in canon or pre-canon or post-canon (or in a canon-divergent AU).

I ship both of them with Percy and Keyleth -- not necessarily all at once! But if you want to write Ripley/Percy/Keyleth/Raishan, that would be amazing -- and with each other. Female mad scientists in love!

I'd love to read about Ripley's quest for the Vestiges or how and why she mad her deal with Orthax or Ripley (+ the Briarwoods?) backstory.

What was Raishan's plan to deal with Thordak without Vox Machina? Raishan vs Vecna! (I'm not a big fan of Raishan-pretending-to-be-Assum, btw.)


DC Cinematic Universe (Isabel Maru (DC Cinematic Universe) )

Wonder Woman is the only movie I have seen in the DC Cinematic Universe, but I don't mind spoilers for the others. Feel free to set things at any time in the movie or pre-movie or post-movie (or in a canon-divergent AU).

I want to know all about how Dr Maru was able to have notes on Uunhexium in (mostly) Neo-Assyrian Cuneiform. I totally ship her with Diana, btw. Post-movie shipfic?


Marvel 616 (Valeria Richards (Marvel 616) )

I've read most of the comics involving her. Her age/timeline is a bit of a mess, so feel free to set things whenever and make her whatever age you want.

I would love to see her bond with her godfather, Victor von Doom -- or with Verity Willis (Val was adorable in Agent of Asgard). Something set during Secret Wars would be great. BUILDING MORE FANNISH STUFF LIKE LIGHTSABERS! (Valeria vs fandom?


Voltron: Legendary Defender (Haggar (VLD) )

I am up to date on the show and will remain so. Feel free to set things at any time in canon or pre-canon or post-canon (or in a canon-divergent AU).

Ship-wise, I like Haggar/Allura, Haggar/Pidge and Haggar/Shiro and I'm intrigued by Haggar/Zarkon. I have no opinion on whether or not she is Lotor's mom or not (she could be Keith's mom, though, that'd be amazing).

Haggar is the mad scientist/space witch mash-up of my heart. I would love to know about how she structures her experiments, being a druid-engineer. Something where she's a double agent would be very interesting as would anything about her 10 000+ years of life -- what's it like living that long?

Thank you again for making something for me! (Comments welcome.)

Thank you for writing for me! I'm sure whatever you write me will be wonderful.

Feel free to poke around this journal or my Ao3 account (username: sevenofspade ) if you want to. My letters tag is here.

I have six Do Not Wants: allegory/metaphor of real world politics, incest, rape, child abuse, character death and dysphoria. When these are canon, please don't focus on them. I would also prefer not to have to deal with people losing things important to them and toxic living arrangements, be that family or roomates. Thank you.

On the other hand, there are a lot of things I do want. Here’s a partial list. (I obviously don’t expect you to stick all of these in one story, that would be impossible.)

( General likes )

Feel free to take prompts in whichever direction you like! And if none of my prompts work for you, then write whatever you want -- I'll be happy with anything.  (I request fanfiction only because while I really really love art, I don't know how to prompt for it.)


Ancient History RPF (Hannibal Barca & Scipio Africanus)

I have a MASSIVE thing for enemies who care about and respect each other and those two hit it IN SPADES. Feel free to have them meet at times they haven't (as far as we know) met, like after Cannae or Zama. Anything expanding on the meeting at Ephesus would also be brilliant. I am, always and forever, of the opinion that they both faked their own deaths to elope together. The AU in which they're both Roman! Or both Carthaginian! The AU in which they switch places. The AU in which it is a Pun-ic War (I LIKE PUNS). An AU in which the war goes differently -- maybe Rome surrenders after Cannae. Slavish devotion to historical accuracy not required! I'm looking for fic, not a research paper. (The tag for this fandom is here.)


Campaign (Podcast) (Any of: Tamlin Jorun, Bacta (Campaign), Synox, Avaa Arek, Lyntel’luroon)

I LOVE THIS DYSFUNCTIONAL SPACE FAMILY WITH ALL MY HEART (Also, when Lyn got confirmed as canonically queer I texted a friend immediately -- she is is the queer alien Indiana Jones of my heart. MORE LYN ON SPACE ARCHEOLOGY ADVENTURES!) Tamlin is THE CUTEST and the Tamlin-narrated noir episodes are probably my favourites -- I have a very real weakness for noir. Bacta is very good at giving me clone feelings (and lol forever at the "I like your voice" exchange with Zevowk). Also, the "Bacta Basics" podcast totally exists in-universe; what's not to love about a fact-based podcast ran by fugitives from the Empire. Leenik's friendship with Avaa is endlessly charming (her and Zero is also A++). I would love something about Synox and the animated program he's on -- wait. What if Tamlin's a fan? (The tag for this is my general Star Wars tag.)


Yoko Tsuno (Comics) (Yoko Tsuno/Khany)

I'd love something about how Khany and Yoko keep being ultimate-long-distance (girl)friends! Role reversal AU! Khany the human, Yoko the Vinean. A canon-divergent AU in which the Vineans didn't leave Earth and/or went public over their own existence. Fix-it for Le dragon de Hong Kong. Timetravel! 100% guaranteed Vinea has the tech somewhere and why should Yoko get all the fun? Vinea (and surrounding space) travelogue. Something about the telepathic communication headbands malfunctionning, be that losing all communication or amplifying too much communications. Vinea and Earth vs The Galactic Empire (or other bad guys). AU in which Yoko is trapped on Vinea. Also I like the robots. (My tag for this fandom is here.)


Thank you again for writing for me! (Comments welcome.)